When Diana, Princess of Wales, had died in 1997, I remember it being broadcasted for days, as it was major international news. I remember being home in New York watching her funeral live on television with my parents. She was loved by millions and I remember people adored her for her independence, her strong figure, her big heart, and that fact that she had always given back to society. But what I had not known as a little girl, was all the struggles she had gone through during her time.

I had always felt like for her, and even Kate Middleton now, it must be so hard to transition from an ordinary life to a life where you’re constantly in the media spotlight. One day you’re just an ordinary girl living an ordinary life, and the next day you may possibly be the next Queen of England. When does it ever end? Where is the privacy? When can you finally breathe? It wasn’t till the tour I went on yesterday did I suddenly have a stronger interest in the royal family. In some ways I wish I could meet them, talk to them, and ask them how it feels to be who they are.

Diana obviously carried a lot of pressure on her. From the day her fairytale wedding had happened, till the day her marriage fell apart. The media has never failed to document her every minute of her life. Phone conversations claiming Prince Charles cheating on her (with his former girlfriend whom he loved), or her cheating on Prince Charles…, having to constantly put up a front for the public… All of that was said to have contributed towards her depression and bulimia.

I found an old interview of Diana tonight, with Martin Bashir (I had the pleasure of meeting him when I worked at MSNBC), and through this interview, she spoke of her failed marriage and the pressure she constantly received from the royal family and the press. It is speculated that because of this interview, Queen Elizabeth II had been very displeased and encouraged Diana and Prince Charles’ divorce.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Full transcript.

It was a little after 3am last night and while bored and with absolutely nothing to do, I decided I didn’t want to sleep yet (because I had eaten dinner really late and wanted to give time to digest), and so I rewatched The Notebook.

I know. The Notebook. Great movie. Every girl watched it. They all cried. Yadi yadi yadi. But I never really watched it. I’ve seen bits and pieces of it in the past, but never fully paid attention enough to know what it was really about. And so, after being charmed by Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love (starring Steve Carell), I decided to go for another one of his movies. I gave The Notebook a second look.

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.” - Noah, Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

WOW. Like every other girl, I was moved, I was touched, my heart melted, and most importantly, I think I may be in love with Ryan Gosling now. But I didn’t cry. I actually didn’t really understand what was so “sad” about it. In fact, I found the ending kind of random and unnecessary, and it felt as if having Noah and Allie suddenly die (for no reason) was just a tear jerking strategy to sort of have the movie feel “complete”. Of course in every beautiful love story, someone’s gotta go… But nonetheless, I loved the movie.

What I didn’t understand though, was this whole idea about The Notebook being top 50 romance movies of all time, and it’s this great love story that makes every girl cry. But my question is…love is such a beautiful thing, and while it should be happy, why does it always have to be portrayed in such a poignant way in order for it to be considered top 50 material? Shouldn’t love be happy? Whatever happened to romance comedies? They’re about love too; why aren’t they up at top 50? While Noah and Allie’s love was sooo real, and this is one of those movies where you wish romance was like that in real life…it almost makes you feel like you have to break up with your significant other and reunite with them again 7 years later in order for it to be “beautiful.” It makes you feel like one has to go off to war, one has to be diagnosed with cancer, one has to die after the ship sinks in order for this love to feel true. And in an unexplainable way, those are the love stories that always captures our heart.

Noah and Allie. It’s like you’ve neverrr seen a couple so meant for each other as they are. But movies are always going to be movies, and sadly, love in real life doesn’t seem to play out the same romantically touching way. It’s because it’s not everyday that you meet someone for the first time and can say you’re madly in love. And it’s not everyday that we’re on a boat that’s about to sink, and we say to each other You jump, I jump, right? I don’t know if it’s fortunate or unfortunate, but we’re in a little more realistic society. And a realistic society says it may take more than just one teenage summer fling to decide this person is the one I love, the one I will devote my whole life waiting for.

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” – Noah, Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

The story was played out so beautifully. And I say “played out” because the storyline itself, it’s not the first one… But Nicholas Sparks has such a way with words! I remember reading A Walk to Remember years ago, and even during class I had to sneak the book from behind my desk just to get in a couple of pages. Literally, you CANNOT put down his book down. The movie itself disappointed me a bit (but then again, when does a movie not disappoint you if you’ve read the book first). Now I’m considering reading The Notebook because some of the lines in the movie were sooo beautifully written (and I believe those are lines taken from the book), I can only imagine how much better the book may be.

Another plus to the movie that made me love it more was the time period. I absolutely LOVE movies that take place during the World War II time period. The Notebook, Pearl Harbor, Atonement, Changeling, etc. And I feel like no one portrays it better than Rachel McAdams. I feel awkward to even see Rachel McAdams in modern day films because she is just sooo magnificent at playing early to mid 1900s setting roles. And Ryan Gosling. He is HOT. Enough said. He reminds me a bit of Ryan Reynolds… I think because both aren’t extremely high profile actors (like Brad Pitt or George Clooney), but they’re still adored by the public (and kind of on that same level too).

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.” – Noah, Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

I went to see my third performance last night for my London Theater class. We went to see a play about a fictional king (based on an older play) on trial. King Ubu was tried for mass killing/genocide of this fictional world that he dominated. He killed the former king, took his throne and let greed take the best of him.

It was……hard to focus. And I think most of the audience can agree as well. At one point, when the play was making a reference to something of 400 years long, an audience member shouted that it felt like the play was 400 years long. I felt bad. When the performers bowed at the end, their awkward smiles hinted that they sensed their play wasn’t very appealing.

It was an interesting approach though, I have to give that to them. It started off with sort of like a prologue, and through puppets they showed scenes of what had previously happened (based from the older play) with King Ubu and this fictitious world. Then twenty minutes into the play, live actors came out and played out the trial in the courtroom. And for us? We sat there for 1+ hour listening to a hearing of what only consisted of two actresses sitting side by side on stage, monotonously “translating” for the trial. The idea was that this trial was in a foreign language, so the two translators read out the entire transcript of the trial that consisted of various people talking.

What intrigued me the most?
1) For the first twenty minutes, we explicitly saw scenes of hand puppets having sex. When do you ever see that played out…

2) We got a glimpse of King Ubu’s live character and he very much resembled Joker to me…

King Ubu's live character. How is that not Joker??

3) At one point of the play, they “fast forwarded” the dialogue, and so the translators had to act that out. Basically, imagine watching a tape being fast forwarded, but instead, it was live characters acting that “fast forward” out. Their mouths moved quicker and their gestures and motions all looked sooo real and believable to me.

Today I just had class. Nothing new or special has really happened. Class….and now our final papers have been assigned too. Found out they’re all due the same week, one after the other. I never thought much about a 3000 word essay. Figured that’d be like three pages or something. It wasn’t until I did a word count of one of my previous papers did I realize that a 3000 word essay is basically a 10 page paper. So now I have three 10 page papers due all in the same week. Oh fun times…

After class I finally got a chance to walk over to that Chinese market I had seen near my school but never went in. To my surprise, it had all the chinese grocery necessities that I need! So now I don’t have to make so many expensive train fare trips to Chinatown just to get Asian groceries! I just refilled my Oyster Card yesterday, and that makes £75 used on train travel for the entire month of January. That’s sad… That’s basically as much as an unlimited monthly metrocard back at home, and I only go to the city or go anywhere on weekends.

Found this at the Chinese grocery store today. Mmm borsch soup! But since when did McCormick's have Chinese seasoning packets too?

Taro balls in coconut milk. Sounds interesting...

Off to cook dinner now! Tonight’s menu? Seafood ramen w/ mussels & shrimps.

I’m starting to run out of things to do in this tiny room. Megavideo has been shut down, so I stopped watching one of my shows. And I can only continue to look up places to visit before it ends up getting tedious and annoying. I always knew I was an expert at travel sites in the states… Who knew I’d be just as good with navigating them in Europe too.

Click, click, click, click, click. I’m so tired of clicking. You type in your destination, and you click. You enter in the dates, and you click again. Start all over. Type in another destination. Click. Enter in another date. Click. Start all over. Type in a train station. Click. Enter in a date. Click. Start over. Type in another train station. Click. Enter in another date. Click. Start over. Type in an airport. Click……………. Next thing you know, 5 hours have gone by and you’re still sitting in the same seat and have barely touched your food.

In conclusion….I am going to Scotland next month during my week off, with a tour group arranged by school. I feel like I’m overpaying, because it is a tour…but I wanted to have at least one thing crossed off my list, knowing that all I have to do is show up and not have to plan anything. Right now, I’m in the midst of planning a weekend trip to Barcelona with my friend. Hoping to soak in some sunshine there.

Today is the first day that it actually “rained” since I’ve been here. And I spent it by going back to Camden Market to continue exploring the unexplored. There was a food whole area there that I didn’t see the first time I went. And they had the coolest chairs for people to sit on to eat.

Isn't that awesome?? And the canal in front of them is actually apart of "Little Venice" in London. It's a canal that runs up or down to Regents Park I believe.

The markets sell a lot of tin vintage-looking signs that I really like.

I'm almost convinced to buy something like this for myself...

This is just something funny I found at the market. It's just a plate in a pizza box!

And for dinner tonight, I bought a platter of Mexican food from the food stalls at Camden Market. Steak over rice . When they were about to put in the cheese, I said no cheese. And then I also said no peppers and sour cream either when they were about to put it in. Ha, I was given a funny face when he looked at my platter and realized there was literally nothing but rice, steak, and lettuce (which is how I usually want it anyway), and he felt bad and gave me some nachos and guacamole on the house!

With the ever growing retail competition these days…I have begun (began?) to notice that a lot of shops such as TopShop, Forever 21, and even American Eagle, have broadened their market to include items like make up and nail polish, candy, cute packaged tissues, and other random humor-like items that you would find at an Urban Outfitters.

The flagship TopShop store in Oxford Circus (My first time there. It’s the shopping district of London) was hugeeee! And everything ranged from clothing to accessories to bags and shoes….to even cupcakes and froyo?? I must’ve spent over an HOUR in there.

And here are some of the things I found:
(These are not my pictures by the way)

I-love-you-so-much-I-could-squish-you chocolate. I found this to be so cute, and very tempting to buy.

My Pear Lady wipes? Haha. Oddly, she does resemble Audrey Hepburn quite well.

...no comment. But they also had one for Will Smith too. And its funny that they have this, considering that this is the city with the strict scissor-purchasing law (must be 18 or over and with photo identification).

Wasabi-flavored anything is always an interesting find!

Ok, I didn't really find this in TopShop... Neither did I find the Milk-flavored pocky (below) from TopShop either. They were from Chinatown nearby... But its always nice to find new and different flavored pockies (though I'm sure they sell them somewhere in the states too)!

Milk... ehh, I wonder how it tastes like...

I went to Camden Market today with two girls from my building, and while yes, the place was a bit sketchy…I found some AMAZING souvenirs/just crap for myself that I don’t need. There was an area with food stalls featuring foods from all different sorts of culture, which was GREAT. And there was an area that reminded me a bit of Chinatown Canal Street at home. They had the I heart UK shirts, the fake jewelry and bags, artworks of London, etc etc. But they also had MORE. Maybe coming from a tourists POV, everything was soo cute and I wanted to buy everything, but when I take a step back and think about it, it seriously was the same crap you’d find on Canal St. And despite the fact that I live there, I never once even looked to see what we had.

London artwork is soooo cheap! I know, I know, most of it are probably the same stuff we sell in Union Square on nice mornings. But at the same time, I don’t know why canvas prints are sooo much cheaper here! 3 for £12…what??? If it wasn’t because there was so darn much to choose from and I couldn’t narrow it down to what I want, I sure as hell would’ve bought a few already. I must go back there someday to finally decide what I want. (And hope that British Airways won’t charge me for overweight baggage.)

They sold some pretty cool shirts. At least cooler than the profane ones we sell in "New York Mother-'Effing' City". They even had a lot of cute dresses.

Inappropriate, but clever enough for me to take a picture of it. Lol.

It was doughnut heaven.

They had these super cool beer bottle clocks. They flatten the glass bottle (through heat) and turn it into a clock. Would make such a great gift!

I love markets. Part of the huge reason why I love NY also. London has a lot of great markets, including Borough Market that I went to yesterday. The destination for foodies! They had bread, jam (would make an amazing gift as well. They had black currant jam! ), oils and spices, cupcakes, baklavas, dried fruit, cider, mulled wine, smoothies, fine cheese, exotic animal burgers (kangaroo, zebra, crocodile, ostrich, etc etc …no joke.), duck sandwich, steak sandwich, different types of curries over rice, fruits, veggies, fresh produce, the list goes onnnn! Soo many great markets in London and I feel like I’ve spent most of my time at these markets rather than doing touristy stuff. I should probably check out the Big Bed and Buckingham Palace sometime soon…as I haven’t really taken any touristy photos either.

I love jam!

1) The British love corn. Sweet corn is on chicken salad, tuna salad, any salad…and lots of different types of soups. Even soups at Chinese takeouts! I can’t stop spotting corn in every food here! (But that’s good, because I love corn )

2) Curry. Curry is a thing here. SERIOUSLY.

3) Where’s the bee?? And shouldn’t it be Honey NUT Cheerios? I hope I’ve bought the right thing…

And did Nestle always own Honey Nut Cheerios?

4) Frosted Flakes??

Frosties?? What's the point of having different names?

5) Intersting…

I often like to see the different types of “flavors” other countries have versus what we have. There was guava jam AND black currant jam! Mmm! Just like how China has 8 billions types of oreos and Lays chips flavors.

6) What the hell is this?

What’s with all these popping/bubbly food nowadays. Like popping boba??

7) An entire shelf devoted to “Chinese cuisine”, yet why is Uncle Ben African American?

7) Tap water has a funny taste here…, but even bottled water has a funny taste too

8) Snapple’s Mango Madness packaging…

Mango writes, “I will go mad…” on chalkboard.

I was in class today and we were studying about encoding and decoding messages in broadcast media, something very basic and very core level knowledge that I not only learned in the first year as a media major, but also reviewed over and over again in every single media class. It’s to the point where I could probably recite Stuart Hall’s (the man who created this) entire concept.

Well anyway, it doesn’t matter what it is. The point is that as an example, our professor used Obama’s inaugural speech, something he had expected everyone to be unfamiliar with (not realizing I was an American student). And for the entire hour, that was what we studied. To start off…one student asked, what is Barrack? I thought to myself, is that a serious question?? I shouldn’t be judging because, what the heck do I know about British government? NOTHING. But it was just a shock to me that people in the class only knew him by Obama, and not a clue of what his first name was. It’s like Cher. Who knows what her last name/real name/full name is. It’s just Cher. Just like how Obama is just Obama.

Secondly. We were asked to point out “codes” that signified the importance of this speech. British students, being an outsider, many of them didn’t know what an inaugural speech was. One girl who sat next to me asked how come the other candidate didn’t get to speak. Um…because it’s an inaugural speech? Obama already won, he is now president, and he’s being sworn in right now. So why would they have McCain come speak?? Haha.

A lot of people gave examples based on a “British view”. They didn’t realize the significance in the bald eagle on the podium. They didn’t know that the shot shown from above is of Washington, DC, our capital. Heck…they all think Obama is 100% black. False. Anyway, so most of the students’ examples about why this broadcast was so significant was all based on the fact that it was on BBC. And that the  BBC journalist speaking in the background is a very important person, hence this must be a very important speech. Plus, all the American colors shown in the beginning of the clip means that this was really important and a patriotic moment for the US.

One girl pointed out the campaign pins shown in the beginning of the clip. There were faces of previous presidents on them. Not all of them, but some of them. No one in the room knew the significance of these faces (as if they were just randomly chosen through eeny meeny miny mo) I, being a smarty pants, gave my “American view.” The first face that had been shown was of Abe Lincoln. Lincoln is a significant person in this point in history, because back when he as in office, he led our civil war, hoping to end slavery and to end a divided country. And here we have Obama stepping up as our first [half] colored president, promising “change.” Therefore that’s why I think Lincoln was the first face chosen to be shown (if my American history is correct…lol).

Everyone, including the professor, was…I want to say stunned, but I think they were more just in lost of words, as no one in the class knew who Abraham Lincoln was. Most of them said they have heard of his name, but didn’t know what he was known for, and had no idea that picture was of him. I thought to myself, really?? Who in the right mind DOESN’T recognize Lincoln’s face?? It’s the same pic with the same stern (and scary in my opinion) look that they always show! He onlyyy seems to have just one picture!

It’s just really interesting for me to see how much people here know of our country, versus when I was in China…Obama was a hit celebrity! People in my class here in London said they wouldn’t have watched the inaugural speech, nor do they care for it. But when I was in China, not only was Obama’s name constantly on the radio, a man in Nanjing actually came up to our group and recited his entire speech to us! This is the difference in how different countries view our nation. While the British students in my class said why do we care for America? It has nothing to do with us. Well, why does China care for our country?? Why does America care for what’s going on in Egypt and spent so much time doing coverages on Prez Mubarak last year?

I was in another class yesterday, and while we were discussing the business of television shows, I also noticed a huge difference in the television industry in London vs. back home. I’m not sure if it’s a UK or just a London thing, but apparently you need to get a TV license here in order to own a television. And they say it’s basically like another one of your monthly bills. And there is no such thing as free television. People will come to your house at random times to check to make sure you’re not secretly hiding a television without a license. Isn’t that crazy?? Therefore, most people don’t even bother owning TVs. Wow…here we have the LCD/LED/3D/whatever D televisions booming, and many British people don’t even OWN TVs… Oh my god, that just makes me sad… Therefore a lot of people don’t watch television, hence their views on the television industry is completely different than than of the US.

In class, we had to each create a television show that the British audience believe “will work” (It’s basically a marketing strategy to create a trashy show for the purpose of profit only, but people will watch). While some people thought of reality shows, a lot of the audience opposed to it because they believe no one watches reality shows. One aspiring actor, a student in my class, raised the idea that not only do nobody watch reality shows…but aspiring actors tend to always think that they can make it big through a trashy reality show, but it never cease to fail. My first thought? CLEARLYYYY no one here has ever heard of Kim Kardashian. And CLEARLYYYY, the British doesn’t know what Jersey Shore is. Haha, why else do we know Snooki?? Because she’s a nobel peace prize winner??

I didn’t say anything. As I only look like the American fool when I give my examples. Nobody here knows of The Situation… Nobody here knows of our trashy American, guilty-pleasure, 16 and Pregnant, shows. I really need to see what they watch here… But I don’t have a TV license, therefore I haven’t watched any British television. But just through class, you can sense that their views of television is different than that of our views.

Which brings me to the thought, why are there sooo many comm/media majors here?? I mean, in the states, people usually ask me what the hell IS a comm major?? And of the comm majors, a lot of them usually hope to get into the television or film industry. But that’s not the case here. I’ve noticed comm/media, as a major for anyone outside the US, to be very very popular. There are a lot of international students from Asia also here to study comm. But their idea of comm is different from our idea of comm. While we hope to go into the film, television, magazine, newspaper, social media, media relations, PR, etc etc etc. Their idea of comm/media is……..everything else in the world (except being a doctor or engineer or anything along the technical lines of course).

I’ve always known comm to be a very broad major. It can take you anywhere. But even “anywhere” has its specifics. “Anywhere” can mean being a social media specialist for K-Mart. “Anywhere” can mean going into pre-law. “Anywhere” can mean being an editor for Time magazine. “Anywhere” can mean doing PR for Versace. “Anywhere” can mean being a rep for Jay-Z and Beyonce. “Anywhere” can even take you as far as going into human resource, working as part of the crisis management team of American Airlines, working with publicity in St. Jude hospital, going into congress, someday being the CEO of the Ritz Carlton hotels. But “anywhere” in the eyes of international students…is literally ANYWHERE. It is basically opportunity.

It’s just that we have options in the US. When you’re in liberal arts, someday your career will be based on your experience/interest and not what degree you came out of college with. For all they care, you could’ve been an art major or a Spanish major or psychology major. As long as you have the experience and what it takes…sure you can be a news anchor . But in a lot of countries, those majors aren’t always available. If you’re not aspiring to be a doctor or a rocket scientist…then you’re going to be in the “everything else” category. Hence, comm. I think comm…in their views…is basically a major that just studies and informs you of everything else going on in the world.

My perspective on theater has completely changed in the course of the last two performances. Many times you don’t even really need all that fancy schmancy stuff on stage to make it outstanding. Last week, I saw that all it took was three actors on one set to blow my mind away. But tonight, not only were there no fully constructed set, but there were also no words. Two actors on stage, thorough music and movement, played out such a beautiful story.

I went to see a mime show tonight, which is basically like the circus acts with the men with the painted white face pretending to have a glass in front of them, or pretending to be pulling a rope. Well imagine that but without painted face and maybe a little more elegant. All they had was a mask, and very basic/minimal props. And one woman in the background took part as the music production by humming and playing her accordion. The story line was basically like the first ten minutes of Up. (And we all know they first ten minutes of Up was the best part.)

The story starts off with an old man. Shortly after, his wife passes away. And throughout the performance, his wife (assuming she is ghost) is by his side trying to help him let go. But through it, the old man reminisces memories of their past, far away from his grief. And he relives the moments from when they first met till the day they had to part. “The defining device of the piece is that the man and his wife’s older selves are played using handheld masks that are simply removed when they play the younger versions of themselves. The effect is extraordinarily poignant, creating a conduit between past and present, joy and loss.” (Lyn Gardner)

I really liked the whole concept of it. I don’t even have anything to relate it to because I’ve never watched anything like it before. Not only was it simple, in terms of it being a three-man show. But even simple things like dimming the lights or closing the curtains to transition between scenes, they didn’t have to do. The woman on stage playing the accordion and serving as the background music also moved around with actors on stage, serving as sort of a prop. While she moved table and chairs around, handed props over to actors, the audience watches as if she wasn’t there. At some parts when the actor needed both his/her hands, she even held their mask on for them while they performed (Because the masks arent attached to their faces. They’re handheld the entire time. Imagine how tiring that is.)

There’s really no way to describe tonight’s performance. It’s really one of those things you need to see it to feel it. But here’s a “trailer” I found on youtube. It’s not exactly the best depiction of it, because it mainly shows dancing moments of the couple’s young self (plus that is not the type of music the production used), but it’s a glimpse of what I saw tonight I mean I guess the clip can’t really can’t give everythinggg away.

Our commuter kitchen sink resembles a little bit like this:

And its annoying because why do I want the hot water and cold water to come out from separate faucets?? It makes washing dishes so difficult because either my hands are burning underneath steaming water, or my hands are freezing from the ice cold water. There is no in between. I want to know why anyone structures their sink that way!

I just finished making lunch. Lamb and leek dumpings . I was very pleased by it. A pack of dumplings I had bought this past weekend cost me £7! ($10+ for ONE pack!) It’d best be worth it! And it was. I don’t think I’ve ever had dumplings with lamb meat before, as I don’t remember ever seeing them at home. It’s usually either chicken or pork.

I only had one class today, Political Economy…the one I had no clue what was going on during my first lecture last week. Once again, having sat through this class the second time, I still have no clue what had happened in lecture. At least in the seminar following, I am able to catch up with discussion. But it starts to make me think, am I even sitting in the correct lecture to begin with?? It seems as though everything I can understand from seminar doesn’t match up to anything I hear in my lecture. Or maybe because none of the things I hear in lecture makes any sort of sense to me.

All my media courses here uses very challenging vocabulary, or terms I don’t really understand. I don’t know if that’s just how they normally teach media courses in Britain, or maybe Americans really are like they say…not quite smart . And I hate to say that, because I am basically underestimating myself too…but if I were to compare my media courses in the US versus the ones here, I definitely feel like the media courses at home are simplified A LOTTTT more to match our understanding. I know I’m coming from a different country, sitting in on advanced/senior courses in London, so of course I’m going to feel a bit behind…but it comes to a point where I feel like I need to look up every other word the professor or the lecture notes say in order to understand a tad more of what’s going on. Eh…my final papers for these classes are going to be very interesting……

Now I have the rest of the day ahead of me, with not much left to do. I’ve already watched How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men (which was a very good episode by the way, because Ashton Kutcher finally got rid of the Jesus look!), and I’m caught up with all the other shows I follow. I’m starting to run out of things to do during my spare time.